


Wistful

by IvanW



Series: Sad Endings [4]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Ficlet, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Pensive, Sad Ending, Sorrow, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2018-08-22 10:51:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8283256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvanW/pseuds/IvanW
Summary: Spock watches from afar





	

Regret was futile and illogical.

And it was something Spock would not give in to. Giving in would be foolhardy.

The night before he had watched from afar, behind a pillar, the only human he had ever truly loved so completely unconditionally. There was his mother, of course, but even she did not quite qualify. Not in the same way.

The human had stood at a fountain, gazing down into the water, looking so unbelievably sad and lost it tore Spock’s heart. And even then Spock did not act. Did not move to comfort the human. Just let him be, as he stared at seemingly nothing.

When the tears fell, when the very soft sobs began, Spock had stood immobile like a statue. He wanted to help. Wanted to offer anything to make the crying stop.

Spock had not.

The human gazed up at the stars suddenly, tears visible on his cheeks as he did so.

Just as he took a step forward someone else appeared on the edge of Spock’s vision.

The human turned toward the other human, his breath coming out on a  tortured gasp. He flung himself into the arms of another, sinking into their embrace, arms tightening around the human.

His human.

But not.

Not his.

Spock’s hands curled helplessly at his sides as he watched them walk away, arms around each other, the human’s head resting against the other’s shoulder as they walked.

The loss pierced him.

But he would not regret.

Spock had turned to go back to the hotel he was staying in for the duration of their shore leave. When he reached the room so much emptiness had consumed him that he checked out and returned to the ship, two days before he was scheduled to do so.

Shore leave was not for him. How many times had he told himself that before? It had been foolish of him to go this time. Now that Nyota had ended their romantic pairing he had no one to even spend it with. He should have canceled.

He went back to his quarters and meditated, then returned to duty, waiting for when the human, his human, would return also.

When Spock’s captain, his human, returned, Spock could breathe again. He saw the redness in the captain’s eyes. He saw the looks from the one who had offered him comfort when Spock had not. They were concerned looks, which made Spock concerned. The captain smiled at Spock, but it was false, forced. And Spock began to fear.

And when the transfer orders came through on his PADD, Spock knew he had regrets after all.

For a long time he did not move, could not react. What had he done wrong that his human would send him away?

He sought out his human then, going to his quarters. He was allowed in.

His human, his captain, stood in the middle of the room, dressed only in pajama bottoms and a T-shirt. He looked so tired and so forlorn that Spock could not hold himself back any longer.

He went to the captain and pulled him into his arms, embracing him, and at first the captain remained rigid, unyielding. And then he gasped and relaxed into Spock.

“Spock,” he whispered.

“Do not send me away.”   

 

**Author's Note:**

> Just a very short update added July 28, 2018. This little sad short was originally published in October 2016. I added the bit after: But he would not regret. I think it has a slightly more open and promising ending than the original ending, while still leaving it open as to what happens next. Because of that it remains as a "sad ending"


End file.
